Laughter broke Kingston’s fragile concentration. His pencil hovered above the sketchbook as he glanced across the library. A table of first years (discernible by brand name clothing) under the eyes of an indifferent librarian. Sighing, he returned to the outline he had drawn. He already knew it was pointless. He was forcing himself to draw, and it showed. This was depressing. Did people get artist’s block? If he was the first, they could name the syndrome after him.
A hand passed swiftly across the back of his head. Startled, Kingston turned, and watched Jae slide into the seat opposite him. “ You can’t avoid the sun forever.”
Consciously trying for wit, Kingston replied, “ I’d burst into flames at the first ray.”
With a snort, Jae picked at his flaking black nailpolish. “ The eery thing is, it’s true.”
Kingston took the opportunity to admire Jae, quickly as possible. He was an original. Tall, broad shouldered with a face of sharp angles, he had large dark eyes that either danced around the room absentmindedly or zeroed in on you completely. Kingston’s favorite feature, though, was the hair. It was long and dyed maroon, but showed an inch of black roots. Kingston had wanted to touch that hair ever since they met the previous semester. Of course, that would never happen. Jae was gorgeous and brilliant and sardonic and unique–and Kingston was simply Kingston.
“ First we would dip you in SPF 78.”
“ No kidding. I bet you’ve never had a sunburn in your life.”
Shrugging, Jae kicked his long legs up onto the table. “ What can I say? We Jews spent many a year in the desert.”
“ Jae, you’re not really Jewish.”
Dryly, Jae said, “ Maybe you should have told my parents before they circumcised me.”
Blushing, Kingston stuttered, “ What I meant is that you’re adopted. For all you know, you could be, like, Assyrian.”
“ I hear Assyrians tan very well.”
Unsure of how to respond, Kingston ducked his head, pretending to be interested in his drawing. Somehow, Jae always managed to make him feel like a child, instead of an adult halfway through an arts’ degree.
“ What are you working on?”
“ Doodling. I’m hoping to minor in it. And your latest project? Searing portraits of Goth princesses? Some disturbing display of dismemberment and torture?”
Jae pulled a notebook from his leather satchel. Flipping to the last page, he slid it across the table. A young librarian passed, eyeing his feet on the table. Jae waved casually.
Kingston frowned. “ It’s a bird.”
“ How astute, Kingston. Y’know, we need to find you a nickname. Kingston just doesn’t roll off the tongue.”
“ Kingston’s a perfectly fine name. Distinguished, mature–“
” Kingston is a city in Jamaica, not a name.”
Rolling his eyes, Kingston returned to the drawing. “ Why are you drawing birds?”
“ It’s a heron. I’ve been looking at Audubon’s work lately. I was inspired. To rip off a master, at least.” He pushed the hair from his face in one sweeping movement. “ Have I grown two heads? Because your expression would be appropriate for the occasion.”
“ No! I mean, it’s nice, it’s pretty, it’s just I never, um....”
“ Thought I was capable of nice or pretty?”
“ No, that’s not what I meant at all.” His face red, Kingston pushed the book across the table, and pulled his hands up into oversize sleeves.
“ I should get you laid.”
His heart seized. “ Pardon?”
“ To get rid of this whole shyness thing. It’d do wonders for you.”
Returning to his scribbles, a sketch of a teetering book pile, Kingston wondered how to answer. There was no way he’d tell the truth, that the only person he wanted was Jae, that he had some school boy crush that refused to be diverted. He wrote titles onto the books, only able to think of novels about war. “ I’m perfectly capable of doing that myself.”
“ Somehow I doubt it. I could get you a pro. Someone experienced. Discreet.” Sometimes it was frustrating, how deadpan Jae could be. You weren’t sure if he was joking or not. Sick at the thought of Jae setting him up with anyone, or Jae with someone else, Kingston scratched in more book titles. Jae suddenly let out a rasping, “ Gah,” and reached across the table. “ It drives me insane how your sleeves are always in the way–“
Kingston was too late in jerking away his hands. He felt Jae’s fingers on his wrists when he tried to push the sleeves up. Great. Jae already thought of Kingston as a socially inept virgin. This just completed a pathetic triad.
In a low voice, Jae said, “ Those had better be old.”
Kingston mumbled, “ I was sixteen.”
“ And all this time I thought you wore those shirts because you were sartorially retarded.”
“ It’s not nice to say retarded.”
“ It’s not nice to cut you wrists up like a Christmas turkey, either.” He certainly had a way with words.
“ Look, I never told you because I don’t want to talk about it. So the conversation is over.”
“ Not until you promise me never to do it again.”
“ Of course I’m not going to, but why should I promise you anything?” He was a bit exasperated at Jae’s assumption that Kingston would do anything for him. Of course he would, but that was besides the point.
“ Because,” Jae said, his eyes drilling into Kingston, “ I already lost one person I really cared about like that, and I’m not doing it again with you.”
Was the implication that Jae really cared about Kingston? Deciding not to dwell, lest the illusion fade, Kingston said, “ Yeah, I promise. Besides, it was six years ago. I haven’t done anything that stupid since.”
“ Nonetheless.” Jae shoved his sketchbook into his bag. “ I’m off. This guy over there’s been staring at me, so I’ll go flirt with him til he asks me out or runs home to mother.” Standing, he peered down at Kingston’s drawing. “ Boring, isn’t it?”
“ I know. See you in class tomorrow.”
“ Maybe I’ll bring pictures of doves, just to ruffle your feathers. Jesus. What a horrible, unintentional pun.” Smirking, Kingston’s head was down as Jae touched his hair in farewell. “ Go outside. You need vitamin D.”
After a moment, Kingston raised his eyes, so that he could watch Jae’s lanky form cross the library. For a tall man, he moved with grace. Meanwhile, all Kingston could do was watch the motions of that body.
Another burst of laughter forced hin up out of his chair. No way was he sticking around while Jae seduced a stranger, with laughter as the background music. Otherwise, Kingston might end up sticking his pencil in some first year’s eye, and God knew what a loss that would be.
That night, bored to death of early Byzantine mosaics, Kingston abandoned his reading and picked up his sketchbook. He flipped through pages he had touched a thousand times, blank spaces he had transformed. To scribbles, if not exactly art. It was apparent, again and again, that the talent was there, but his heart was not.
“ Now that’s profound,” he muttered. Bet no one had heard that cliche before.
He came to his last drawing. There was one book left without a title. Smiling slightly, Kingston wrote in, “ Birds of America.” Birds. Jae could be so unexpected. Kingston turned to a fresh page, fingers fidgeting. There was so much to do with a blank page. Of course, he knew what he wanted to draw.
Slowly, he gave over to impulse. He began to sketch his favorite form, biting the nails of one hand. Beautiful. Maybe he would colour it. You couldn’t really have a picture of Jae without maroon hair. Kingston wondered what to do with the finsihed picture. It would be dangerous to keep around.
He knew Jae’s half naked body. The first day of their life drawing class, the day they first met, the model had been in a car crash. So Jae had stripped off his shirt and sat at the front of the class, saying, “ Get to it, people.” Kingston would bet he wasn’t the only one who walked away infatuated. But Jae had liked his sketch best. He said so, and that meant all the world. “ If you only saw me completely naked,” Jae said, slinging an arm around Kingston’s shoulder.
Yeah, that would happen. Kingston pencilled Jae in seduction mode, which was always awe inspiring. Turned towards a willing victim, fingers pulling insistently.
Unintentionally, Kingston began sketching a second figure. A ghost, really, with no defining features. Jae’s birds appeared in the background. Herons, that’s what they were. Pretty birds, weren’t they. Despite Kingston’s demurrals, he had been surprised that Jae could create something nice and pretty. Jae’s work was avant garde, always pushing at borders. Not because he wanted to shock, but because that’s simply how he was. And now, herons.
The background filled with patterns of Asian fans, like the shirt Jae had worn at New Years, when they got completely wasted and threw up together off the side of the bridge. Embarrassed and still smiling at the memory, Kingston chewed on his lip. After they had finished being sick, Jae had thrown an arm around him, mumbling into his ear, “ You know you’re fucking dear to me.” That had been the best moment of his year, feeling Jae close, smelling the expensive cologne his sister had stolen for him for Christmas. Kingston remembered pressing his face drunkenly to Jae’s chest, his vision filling with patterns of fans.
Finally, the picture finished drawing itself–all except the mystery lover. He was a blank. Propping his head up, Kingston took it in. It was all too fitting. One of the incredible, liberating aspects of art was that you could create the world exactly as you pleased. In this picture, Kingston could be Jae’s lover.
Wistfully, Kingston filled in the details. His hair slightly curly instead of straight. Muscles he would never have, not on his skinny body. Almost as tall as Jae. He contemplated leaving the scars off his wrists, but decided it was somehow dishonest, even in this fantasy world. He drew bandages, beginning to unravel. The evidence of a stupid teenage depression was covered, but Jae knew it was there.
When the basics were finished, he sat back, biting the end of his pencil. The picture made him want to weep. Of jerk off, either one. If he were smart, he would tear it up, and forget about it.
Instead, he began collecting his paints.
Kingston gnawed on his knuckle. It had become a nervous habit lately, after his fingernails finally became too short. With his other hand, he tried drawing the vases the professor had arranged. It was difficult to concentrate. Across the room, Jae was confidently seducing a serious girl with jet black hair and blunt bangs. Much more Jae’s type.
This is where stupid infatuation leads you, Kingston reminded himself. With the inevitable dagger firmly embedded in you heart, and twisted for good measure.
A metallic taste stung his tongue, and he drew his hand back. The knuckle was bleeding. Fabulous. He looked across at Jae, who was whispering in the girl’s ear. Nauseous, Kingston gathered his supplies, stuffing them into his bag and taking off. He would take a grateful zero for the assignment.
Sucking on his knuckle, he bounded down the stairs and out of the Fine Arts building. The day was fittingly grey and windy. It felt like a day on the coast. His hair blowing back from his face, Kingston perched on the stone railing. The blood had stopped welling up. After a moment, he took the new picture from his bag.
He should have destroyed it. He knew that. And he certainly shouldn’t have brought it to school. But it had turned out so well. The composition, the colours–it was lovely. It was a shame to get rid of it. Still, there was no point in keeping it. He could never show it to anyone, and if he kept it hidden away, it would simply serve as a reminder of the unattainable.
“ You can’t be out here to enjoy the weather.”
Kingston’s heart jumped into his throat. He flipped the picture over. “ These are my favorite kind of days.”
Jae sat behind Kingston on the rail. His hair blew right into his face. “ God damn it.” He knotted his hair into a sloppy ponytail. “ As you might guess, not my favorite kind of day.”
“ That’s a pity. Everyone should love grey days. At least in my opinion.”
“ So why are you out here and not in there?”
“ I could ask you the same question.”
“ I’m following you. Now your turn.”
“ I was chewing on my hand, and it started bleeding. It’s fine now.”
“ Y’know, there’s no need to resort to self cannibalism.” Kingston decided not to reply to the obvious. Jae elbowed him in the back. “ So? Why have you been so sad?”
Fingering the back of the heavy paper, Kingston replied, “ Been?”
“ I figured I’d wait til you started to carry around a copy of the “ Bell Jar,” but as the opportunity has arisen, yeah, I could tell that you’ve been miserable.” Jae poked him again. “ So what’s the problem? School? Low self esteem? Grocery store stopped carrying your favorite brand of shredded wheat? Out with it.”
“ Besides the fact that it’s–“
” None of my business, whatever, just spit it out.”
Kingston looked down on the paper, touching it gently. So that was why Jae had wanted to know if his scars were old. He thought Kingston was a suicidal head case, present tense. This day was shaping up to completely, utterly suck. Kingston shook his head, trying to figure out how to be as vague as possible while not lying. “ It’s just the problem of being an adult instead of a kid. That moment when you realize that you can’t cry over the things you can’t have. You just have to...give it up and move on.” He grasped the top of the paper with both hands, beginning to rip it in half. Before he could react, Jae grabbed it away. “ No!” Kingston shouted, reaching for the picture, but Jae easily held him off with one hand.
You knew this would happen, Kingston thought. You knew that if you brought it, he’d see it, and you brought the picture anyway. Did you want him to know how pathetic you really are? It was so horrible that it seemed inevitable. Mortified to his very core, Kingston waited for Jae’s reaction, to be laughed at like he deserved.
It was as bad as he had expected. Jae took in the picture, and a crooked half smile crossed his mouth. “ What’s this, Kingston? Love letter?”
“ Don’t,” Kingston whispered.
“ You want to be my boyfriend?” Jae teased in mocking singsong.
Shooting to his feet, Kingston yelled, “ Shut up!”
The amusement on Jae’s face was replaced with surprise. “ Hey–“
” Don’t ridicule this, because I know how stupid I am! I don’t have grand delusions. I get that I’m below you, some pet project, and I know I’m an idiot for wanting you anyways, but you know what? This lowly mortal is sick of being constantly reminded of how meaningless he is.” Kingston ripped the picture from Jae’s hands and tore it down the middle, through paper and paint. Tossing the halves at Jae’s feet, he said, “ I’ll be damned if I stick around while you laugh at how cute my little feelings are.” He turned on his heel and strode away.
“ Kingston!”
“ Fuck off!” he shouted over his shoulder. People jumped out of his way. Kingston had never yelled at anyone in his life. At least he had kept his claws on his last shred of dignity, and brought the end he had known was coming.
After two blocks, he realized he was crying. A schoolboy reaction for a schoolboy crush. Brushing aside tears, he let himself be miserable. He had just torched the bridge between himself and the brightest thing he had ever known.
Kingston ate the macaroni straight out of the pot, having planted himself in front of the television. Thank Christ it was the weekend. All he was in the mood for was Kraft dinner and M*A*S*H reruns. He had put on his oldest baggy sweater and flannel pajama pants. He knew the scene should be completed by chocolate; however, he was allergic.
Chewing slowly, Kingston tried to make his mind a blank. Don’t think of him. Don’t think his name, or how he made life seem better with his mere presence. Concentrate on the hijinks of the 4077th. His jaw was so heavy that chewing was an effort. Tossing the fork in the pot, Kingston admitted defeat.
He pushed himself off the sofa, stepping into the kitchen. The wind was whistling against the windows of the fourteenth floor apartment. Looking out, you could see the rain coming from miles away. Pulling the garbage can from under the sink, Kingston began methodically scooping macaroni into the trash.
There was a knock at the door. Kingston froze. No one ever came to see him. Without an answer, the door opened anyways, and Jae stepped inside. The sight of him dragged Kingston back to that humiliating moment. “ Hi,” Jae said expectantly.
“ It’s not polite to just walk into someone’s home.”
“ Well, I thought if I waited, you’d have the chance to lock the door.”
Realizing he was still standing with the pot in his hand, Kingston tossed the dishes into the sink. “ What are you doing here?” he asked, pulling the navy sleeves over his hands.
Jae held up Kingston’s book bag. “ You forgot this.”
“ Oh.”
Dropping it, Jae turned his eyes on Kingston’s. “ But that’s really just an excuse. I would have come even if you hadn’t left it.”
“ Why? Come to prolong the torture?” Grab your dignity. Both hands. Seize it.
Jae put his hands in his back pockets, his gaze unwavering. “ I came because I completely mishandled the situation. I fucked up, and I’m really sorry.” Kingston had rarely heard Jae sound so serious. Crossing his arms, Kingston dropped his eyes. “ When I saw your picture, I didn’t know what to do, and when I don’t know what to do, I make jokes. I know you’ve got this idea of me as infallible, but I make mistakes, Kingston, occasionally really stupid ones. I didn’t mean to belittle you. I’ve never meant to make you feel inferior, because that’s absolutely not what I think of you. And if I’ve made you feel small, then I apologize.”
Kingston knew Jae had never intentionally set out to hurt him. Really, Jae had sought out Kingston’s friendship. He didn’t look at him as a pet. Kingston made himself feel small, when placed next to something so grand. Admitting this didn’t make the situation any less wretched. “ I’m sorry. It’s hard to think of you as human.”
Jae shrugged. “ But I’m sorry I made what happened worse. I can’t imagine how embarrassing it was.”
“ Worst moment of my life. Judges called it.”
“ Swell. I mean, it was just so unexpected–“
” Unexpected?” Kingston said sharply. “ Why?”
“ Don’t get offended. It’s just that we’re so different.”
“ No kidding.”
“ But we have some things in common.”
Barking, Kingston said, “ What on earth do we have in common, Jae?”
“ Art. Sense of humor. Friendship. Plus, we’re also attracted to each other.” Kingston furrowed his brow, and Jae shook his head at him. “ You really think I hadn’t thought about it? You and I, us, whatever. I have, ever since we first met.”
He could not be hearing this. “ But,” said Kingston. “ I know there’s a but.”
“ But I never thought that you would want to.”
“ Me? Not want to? Are you joking? What have I got to be picky about? You’re this magnetic personality and beautiful and like something from a book or a fairytale, and then here I am, average, plain, art geek. I couldn’t dream of being wanted by anyone, least of all you.”
“ Oh, for Christ’s sake.” Pinning Kingston’s wrist to the counter, Jae quickly moved in, pressing against the length of Kingston’s body. He laid his lips on Kingston’s, kissing him deeply to shut out the words. Stunned, Kingston put a hand to Jae’s arm, and that was the only reaction Jae got. Withdrawing, Jae kept Kingston’s wrist down and determinedly held his eyes. “ Not average, not plain, you ass. You’re serious, shy, and quite attractive. You’re a great artist, and my best friend. And I’m telling you that you’re wanted.”
Still reeling from the fact that Jae had actually kissed him, Kingston whispered, “ You’re lying.”
“ When have I ever lied to you?” Jae rested his forehead against Kingston’s. “ I knew the second I walked through that door and saw you in your pajamas that I was going to kiss you, even if I had to beg forgiveness first.”
“ Who says I’ve forgiven you?”
His lips tracing Kingston’s ear, murmured, “ Forgive me, please.”
“ Okay,” Kingston said breathlessly, Jae’s tongue slipping into his ear. Kingston suddenly gathered his wits. Firmly, he put his hands to Jae’s chest. “ Wait.”
Jae raised an eyebrow. “ Waiting.”
“ I’m not a passing thing. I don’t want you doing this once to make me feel better. If that’s the case, I’d rather you just leave.”
Grinning crookedly, Jae said, “ That’s one of the things I like about you. Integrity.”
“ Yeah, well–“
” I’m not looking to fuck you and run, Kingston. Now that you have my attention, you’ll find it quite difficult to get rid of me.”
Shyly, Kingston asked, “ Promise?”
Cupping Kingston’s face, Jae answered, “ You’ve got me. If I’m lying, may God strike you dead.”
“ Oh, that’s helpful.”
“ Still alive? Feeling any leprosy coming on?” He laid a hand on Kingston’s forehead.
Kingston batted his hand away, laughing. “ Stop it.”
“ Listen, Kingston.” Jae stepped back. “ If you want me to leave and court you like a gentleman, I will. Tell me what you want me to do.”
Beginning to blush, Kingston closed the distance. Fingering the buttons of Jae’s shirt, he said softly, “ How about we go to the bedroom now, and you can court me tomorrow?”
Jae ran his long fingers over Kingston’s hair. “ Sounds reasonable. Are you going to jump me or just play with my shirt?”
Kingston startled them both by shoving Jae up against the fridge and kissing him. Laughing into his mouth, Jae picked Kingston up by the ass, letting his legs dangle. Kingston tried taking every sensation in at once. His hands were deep into Jae’s hair, pulling it loose. It was thick and soft, just like he had imagined. Jae was walking backwards into the hall, his tongue slipping past Kingston’s lips. Gorgeous, lovely man. Kingston drew back in order to gasp, “ In there,” pointing to his room.
“ I guessed.” Jae’s tongue returned, sliding confidently against Kingston’s. He really knew what he was doing. Kingston suddenly found the back of his knees pressed to the bed, and Jae let go so that he fell backwards. Kicking off his shoes, Jae climbed on top of him, long fingers pushing up Kingston’s sweater. He lowered his mouth to Kingston’s torso, licking and kissing his way upwards. Kingston barely had time to think, God, this is really happening, isn’t it, before Jae raked a tongue across his nipple. Crying out, Kingston grabbed at Jae’s shirt, struggling to get it off. One of the buttons tore away. When Kingston began to apologize, Jae said roughly, “ Forget the shirt,” and tossed it aside. Kingston followed his lead, throwing his sweater over the side of the bed. Rising, he wrapped his arms around Jae’s warming body, tasting his skin, exploring with touch what he had only ever seen, until he came to Jae’s nipples. Then he bit into one, hard.
Hearing Jae’s wordless exclamation gave Kingston confidence, and fueled his already uncontrollable want. Jae’s cock was pressing against his stomach. Kingston’s erection was trapped beneath one of Jae’s legs, stroked by friction every time Jae moved. Too mindless to be embarrassed, Kingston shivered when Jae grabbed his arm and licked his wrist, over the scars. His hand instinctively went to unzip Jae’s pants and found more buttons.
Jae grabbed a handful of Kingston’s hair, forcing him to look up. His eyes were black, and held to Kingston’s face. “ What do you want from me?” he murmured. “ What do you want me to do to you?” His hand dipped into the back of Kingston’s pants.
The feel of Jae’s hand wrapping around Kingston’s ass was too distracting. All he could do was press his face to Jae’s chest and whisper, “ Fuck me.”
Jae drew back slightly. “ Kingston–“
He didn’t care anymore how it sounded, he just wanted it. “ Please, Jae.”
“ I–goddamn it, I don’t have condoms–“
” I do.”
Dropping onto the bed, Jae said, “ Yeah, okay, go get them.”
Stumbling up, Kingston practically ran to the bathroom, wondering if he really did have condoms. Rifling through the medicine cabinet, he found a near empty box on the top shelf. Ha, still six months to expiry. He didn’t dare catch his breath, incase the illusion of this ridiculous situation were to disappear. He grabbed the lubricant with his other hand and returned to the bedroom. Stopping dead, he found Jae completely naked, standing at the window. Suddenly nervous, Kingston said, “ Couldn’t wait to get your clothes off?”
“ There’s no sexy way to take your socks off in front of another person. So I just bypassed it.” Crouching before Kingston, he raised his eyes. When he saw that he had permission, he pushed down Kingston’s pants. With a mischievous grin, he licked the length of Kingston’s raised dick, eliciting a moan. Momentary doubts fled, and absolute certainty set in. Rising, Jae pushed Kingston down onto the bed. He had turned down the sheets while Kingston was gone. Jae straddled him, pushing his hips into Kingston’s. Kingston began reaching for him, and realized he was still holding the condoms and lubricant. Biting his lip, he offered them to Jae. Taking them, Jae saw something in Kingston’s face. He held still, waiting for Kingston to speak. A moment passed before Kingston could bring himself to say, “ It’s been a really long time since I’ve done this.”
Smiling gently, Jae brushed Kingston’s hair back from his face. “ I’ll make it so good.”
Their cocks were pinned between their two bodies. Reeling, Kingston replied, “ I know you will.” Jae leaned down, kissing him, and preparing them both with one hand. Fuck, he did know what he was doing, didn’t he. Each time Jae touched him sent molten waves through his stomach. Kingston’s eyes closed, and he wrapped his legs around Jae’s back. “ Now, please, now.”
“ I know.” Jae’s finger brushed at Kingston’s opening. Immediately, Kingston relaxed, letting him in. He trusted Jae with everything. “ Christ–Kingston.” The unexpected appreciation in Jae’s voice made Kingston smile. His head fell back, feeling Jae’s finger moving inside him. It was all too much, being here, now, with him, feeling more of Jae inside him, and then Jae ran his fingers over his prostate. Kingston muffled his cry by biting into Jae’s shoulder, hearing Jae hiss. He couldn’t wait much longer. He reached down, taking Jae’s slick erection in his hand and stroking hard. Distracted, Jae withdrew his fingers. His hair fell across Kingston’s face. “ I have to, are you ready?”
“ Yes, now, just stop waiting.”
One hand behind Kingston’s head, Jae quickly slid his cock deep into Kingston’s ass. They both paused, looking at each other. Jae pressed his forehead to Kingston’s. “ You’re so fucking dear to me, you know that?”
It was what Jae had said to him on the bridge, and it was the sweetest thing Kingston had ever heard. “ Yours,” Kingston whispered. He rocked down on Jae’s shaft, and Jae responded, both falling back on pure instinct.
It was fast, and hard, and Kingston came first, the feeling of Jae within him finally overpowering sense and thought until stars burst behind his eyelids. When he same back to himself, he found Jae shuddering against him, and clenched him tight. Jae’s body went limp, and he fell onto Kingston, whispering incoherently.
They lay together for a few warm moments, until Jae finally withdrew, tying the condom and tossing it into the trash can. Blinking slowly, Kingston smiled when Jae flopped next to him, pulling the sheet up to their shoulders. “ Out of curiosity, did you really think I was a virgin?”
Snorting, Jae answered, “ Not after that performance.” He propped his head up with a hand. “ I didn’t mean it to be over so quickly. Next time, I’ll make it last.”
“ Next time.”
“ I can tell you like the sounds of that.”
“ Yeah, I do.”
“ As do I. Actually, I don’t think I was really aware of how much I wanted you until about a twenty minutes ago. Maybe my subconscious has been trying to tell me something.”
Kingston smiled against the pillow, thinking, Jae and I had sex. And it was good, and it’s going to happen again. Suddenly, what happened earlier came to mind. “ Damn it. I wish I hadn’t wrecked that picture, if this is how things turned out.”
“ It’s not wrecked. It’s a clean tear. I’ve got it in my bag.”
“ Oh. Why’d you keep it?”
“ Cause it’s hot. I didn’t think you had it in you.”
Faking irritation, Kingston countered, “ Well, you draw birds.”
Jae shrugged. “ So we surprise each other. I’ll be the next Audubon, and you’ll be the next Tom of Finland.”
“ Ha. Doubtful.”
Leaning over, Jae kissed him soundly, putting all his weight into it. He stole Kingston’s breath away. “ An hour ago, did you think you’d be here? No, you thought you’d be eating macaroni. So shut up and dream.”
With a bashful grin, Kingston said, “ Alright.” He wrapped a lock of maroon hair around his finger. “ I’ll dream about your birds.”
“ Herons, Kingston.”
Kingston rolled his eyes. “ Whatever.” Jae laughed at him and threw an arm over his chest. Shuffling closer, Kingston closed his eyes. He was near to the brightest thing he knew. Maybe anything was possible.
The End
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